How should I feel at 21?

As I’m close to the end of my being 21 road, I thought it was a good opportunity to start reflecting back on the things I have (or haven’t) done.

Growing up, the thought of being 21; t w e n t y o n e, was a scary thought. I thought once you’ve hit your twenties that was it, your life was nearly over or alternatively the complete opposite and this would be the time you would already be living in a lovely house, with your life partner and children, with your dream career and of course many cats – ha!

Ok so you probably didn’t think you’d have accomplished that much but a girl can dream.

All dreaming aside I actually believe I have found the most out about myself and moved forward in so many things by the age of 21. Obviously the fact that I woke up in Rome on my 21st birthday made the start of adulting the most magical. (Thank you Jack)

I feel there’s so many expectations for you when you hit your 20s – a lot of people would be finishing Uni and going in to their ‘dream job’ that they’ve spent years working towards or some just taking a job to start paying off their debt. You would have finished school over 5 years ago when you had it drilled in to your head that when you finish you should know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and then being told you shouldn’t need help at certain things in life because ‘you’re an adult now’. Er, when did I decide I wanted to be an adult? I did not is the answer to that! You are literally thrown out in to the big scary world with not much of a heads up about what to expect or how to survive. You have learnt about Pi and how to make a successful popup book in D.T but were we ever told how to pay Council Tax? How to do a job interview? Or warned how bloody expensive life is!!

Sometimes I feel too young to be doing what I’m doing and I feel like I still have so much to learn and know and that if I don’t learn quick I will drown in this sea of responsibilities and thing we call life. But then I have to take a step back and realise that actually I am still young, I don’t need to know everything yet and it’s okay to ask ‘how’ or ‘why’. I feel we are surrounded by a lot of successful young people in the media at the moment, which is great, but we don’t need to feel like we’re useless for not being like that just yet.
At 21, although I am yet to be in my ‘dream job’ and have a lot of hard work and determination to be there, I am in a secure full time job for the longest I have ever been, I have moved out with my boyfriend in to our perfect first little flat, we have a little baby kitten and I am on the road to sorting out my MH and getting the help I’ve needed for a long time. There is still a hell of a lot more I want to achieve and sometimes I feel stuck when I feel like I’m not getting anywhere and then I look back at what I actually have achieved and feel proud. I still have many days where I will be frustrated that I am not yet where I want to be and the doubts that it won’t in fact happen but then I tell myself to grab a bath bomb and a glass of wine, sit in a bath of bubbles and be proud of where I am right now and know I am not running out of time just yet and to continue being a Sass Queen.

Tips on making yourself feel like a Queen again:

Pamper yourself – For me personally when I’m having a bad MH day or just feeling rubbish in general I seem to forget how to look after myself or quite frankly I can’t be bothered. But, this makes me feel 10 times worse. So what’s better than having an excuse to pamper yourself? Run a nice bath, throw in some bombs, load it with bubbles and grab a glass of bubbles and maybe even a book. Take as long as you want and don’t feel bad about it. Shave those legs, make a santa beard with bubbles and just relax. Moisturise the hell out of your body, paint those nails and put your feet up. You’ve done it.

Read a good book – I’ve never been a big reader but for the past few months I’ve really got in to my reading. However, there never seems to be enough time in the day to just pick up a book and read. Well that’s the excuse I seem to give. If you want to read then make time. Make time for yourself and your book. Get lost in someone else’s story and forget your own for a while. Be lazy and shove a pizza in the oven so you don’t have to cook. Don’t think about things that you feel you should be doing, don’t feel guilty. You need time to escape reality every now and then.

Put on a good film – Whether it’s funny, sad or a cheesey chick flick. Make yourself comfy, get some snacks and a blanket and put on a film. Ugly laugh at the stupid humour or ugly cry and at the sad ending whatever you do just relax and eat the hell out of snacks!

Don’t feel guilty for doing things for you, you are precious and only you can keep it that way.



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